At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
