I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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