Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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