he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
