I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
