I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
