dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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