Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize