Dual....:-)
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
