She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
