I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
