In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
