cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
