I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
thus making me awesome and them whores
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
