wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
