i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
