I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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