she smelled like a LAN party
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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