I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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