Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
