How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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