after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
