I accidentally had phone sex last night
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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