I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I look better un-naked...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
