Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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