I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
