We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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