i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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