You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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