she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Are my feet made of real feet?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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