i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
