I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
