Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
