im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
