I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
