And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
