You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
