what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
