I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
