why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Randomize
