i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
