since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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