no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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