i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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