i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
