why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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