Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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