My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
