well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
