There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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