they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
